It Is Okay Not to Think About How Much Everyone Else Is Paying for Their Mortgage

As a mortgage broker in Palm Beach, you'd think I'd spend my days deep 'in 'the 'numbers', crunching figures and comparing rates 'til the cows come home. And sure, there's a fair bit of that involved, because it's part of how we help people. But what I've realised over the years is that the financial game isn't just about what's on paper. A huge part of it is actually a mind game. And one of the biggest traps people fall into, one that causes a surprising amount of stress and often leads to really unhelpful decisions, is comparing their mortgage repayments or their interest rate to what everyone else is supposedly paying. It's a natural thing to do, I suppose. We're social creatures, and we look around at our mates, our family members, the folks on social media, and we wonder, 'Am I doing as well as them?' or 'Am I getting ripped off?' But I'm here to tell you, it's really okay to not think about how much everyone else is paying for their mortgage. In fact, it's probably a much healthier way to approach your own finances.

The thing about comparing yourself to others' mortgage situations is that you rarely, if ever, have the full picture. You might hear your friend mention they're on a certain incredibly low rate, and instantly feel a pang of worry or envy. But what you don't hear about is the deposit they put down, or the loan amount they needed. You don't know the exact date they took out their loan, which can make a massive difference to the rate they secured. You don't know the loan-to-value ratio they had, or the fees they paid to get that rate. You don't know if they're on an interest-only loan, or if they've fixed a portion of their lending. There are so many moving parts to a mortgage, and trying to compare one person's situation to another's is a bit like trying to compare apples and kangaroos. They're both living things, but that's about where the similarities end.

It's easy to get caught up in the headlines too. We see reports about the average mortgage size, or the median repayment, or what the 'best' rates are right now. While these things can be interesting for a general overview of the market, they're rarely directly applicable to your specific situation. Your mortgage is unique to you. It's tied to your income, your expenses, your assets, your financial goals, and your risk tolerance. What's 'good' for the average person might be completely unsuitable for you, and what's 'bad' for the average person might actually be the perfect fit.

Think about it like this: if you're comfortable with your current repayments, if they fit nicely into your budget, and if you're making progress towards paying down your loan, then why introduce stress by wondering if someone down the street is doing 'better'? That kind of thinking doesn't pay down your mortgage any faster. It doesn't put more money in your offset account. All it does is create a sense of unease that wasn't there before.

One of the classic scenarios I hear about is someone at a barbecue, or perhaps catching up with old school friends, and the conversation inevitably turns to mortgages. Someone will pipe up about their fantastic deal, and suddenly everyone else feels a bit deflated. But invariably, that fantastic deal might have been for a brand-new build ten years ago when rates were at rock bottom, or it might be for a tiny apartment with a massive deposit, or it might even be a bit of an exaggeration. People often round down what they're paying, or cherry-pick the most favourable aspects of their loan to share. It's human nature, I suppose, to want to present yourself in the best light. But for the listener, it can be really misleading.

We also have to remember that affordability is a very personal thing. What one family can comfortably afford on their income and expenses might be totally different for another family, even if their salaries are similar. One family might have childcare costs, private school fees, or medical expenses that another doesn't. One might have a strong savings discipline and another might live more for the moment. Your comfort level with debt, your job security, your future plans , these all play a huge role in what you consider a 'manageable' mortgage repayment.

So, if you're feeling okay, if your repayments are working for you, if you're not struggling to meet them, then lean into that feeling. Recognise that you've made decisions based on your own circumstances at the time, and those decisions were right for you. Instead of looking over your shoulder, look forward at your own goals. What do you want to achieve with your home? Are you planning renovations? Do you want to pay it off faster? Are you comfortable with your current repayment structure? These are the questions that actually matter to you.

Now, this isn't to say you should bury your head in the sand and never think about your mortgage again. Far from it. It's smart to review your loan regularly, usually every year or two, to make sure it's still suitable for your needs. Interest rates do change, your circumstances will change, and new products become available. But the motivation for that review should come from within, from your own financial planning, not from a comparison to your cousin's holiday house loan.

When you do come to review your loan, try to approach it with a clear head. Don't go into it thinking 'I must get a lower rate than Janine down the road'. Instead, think 'Is this loan still working for me? Does it align with my current goals? Can I potentially save some money or improve my cash flow in a way that truly benefits my household?' Focus on your own financial peace of mind, not on winning some imaginary mortgage competition.

The perceived 'best' rate isn't always the best for everyone either. Sometimes, a slightly higher rate might come with features that are incredibly valuable to you, like a fully flexible offset account, or the ability to make unlimited extra repayments without penalty. For some people, the peace of mind of a fixed rate, even if it's not the absolute lowest rate on offer, is worth its weight in gold because it provides certainty in their budget. Others prefer the flexibility of a variable rate, knowing they can usually get slightly ahead if rates drop, and that they can move lenders more easily if a better deal comes along. It's all about what suits your individual preferences and risk appetite, not what's considered 'average' or 'best' in a general sense.

Another point to consider is how much effort you're willing to put in chasing those tiny fractional differences in interest rates. Sometimes, the mental energy and paperwork involved in constantly refinancing just to shave a few basis points off your rate might outweigh the actual financial benefit. If you're stressed out by the process, or if it's taking away from time you could be spending on things you enjoy, then perhaps the 'cheapest' option isn't actually the best value for your overall life quality. Financial decisions aren't made in a vacuum; they impact your entire lifestyle.

It's also worth remembering that the housing market, especially on the Gold Coast, has seen a lot of changes over the years. People who bought fifteen or twenty years ago are in a vastly different position to those buying today, or even people who bought just a few years ago. The loan amounts, the property values, the incomes required , it's all shifted. So, someone who has had their loan for a long time will naturally have a different repayment story to tell than someone who just got into the market. Their experience isn't your experience, and their figures won't be your figures.

The media also plays a role in fostering this comparison culture. Every week there's a new article about official interest rates, or what economists are predicting, or how much extra the average borrower is paying. While this information can be important for understanding the broader economy, it can also lead to a lot of unnecessary worry if you internalise every single piece of it. Focus on what you can control: your budget, your savings, your spending, and your engagement with your own financial plan.

What I often see is that when people lose sight of their own financial boundaries and start focusing too much on what others are doing, they can make rash decisions. They might switch lenders impulsively based on a headline rate, without fully understanding the fees or the features of the new loan. They might stretch themselves too thin to keep up with a perceived benchmark, putting their own financial stability at risk. These kinds of reactive moves are rarely beneficial in the long run.

Instead, cultivate a sense of inner confidence about your financial journey. Understand that you're playing your own game, by your own rules. Your wealth journey is personal. What really matters is that you're making steady progress towards your own goals, whatever they may be. Whether that's paying off your mortgage early, building up a good buffer in your offset account, or simply ensuring you can comfortably meet your repayments each month and still enjoy life, those are the benchmarks that count.

If you've got a decent understanding of your income and expenses, and you know what you're trying to achieve with your home loan, you're already ahead of the game. Comparing yourself to others is like trying to run someone else's race on their track, with their shoes. It's just not going to work, and it's going to make you feel unnecessarily uncomfortable.

So, next time you hear someone talking about their mortgage rate, or how much they're paying, just politely acknowledge it and then let it go. Remind yourself that your situation is unique. Your home loan is a tool to help you live your life, not a competition to be won against your friends, family, or the 'average Australian'.

If you're ever feeling genuinely unsure about your own mortgage situation, or if you're worried that your loan might no longer be serving you well, that's a perfectly valid reason to seek some professional guidance. Sometimes just talking things through with someone who understands the market can give you a lot of clarity and peace of mind. But make sure that conversation is about your needs, your goals, and your comfort levels, not about trying to match what someone else is doing. Your financial well-being is too important to be dictated by outside comparisons.

Ultimately, the goal is to feel secure and comfortable with your mortgage, not to achieve some abstract 'best' scenario based on external benchmarks. Focus on your own financial foundations, nourish your own savings, and make choices that genuinely serve your household. That's a much more sustainable and peaceful way to approach your home loan journey.