It Is Okay Not to Have a Bigger Retirement Nest Egg Than Your Parents

Most weeks as a mortgage broker in Palm Beach, I talk to all sorts of people about their financial situations. Sometimes, when the conversation turns to longer-term goals, like retirement, I notice a common thread. A lot of people, especially those in their 40s and 50s, feel a quiet pressure to not just match, but to actually outdo their parents when it comes to their retirement nest egg. It's an interesting thing, this unspoken competition or expectation. It's almost as if there's a scorecard for life, and one of the big points is whether you've managed to squirrel away more than the previous generation. But I've started to wonder if that's a helpful way to look at things, or if it just adds unnecessary stress to what should be a really personal journey.

Our parents' generation often had a different path to wealth. Many of them bought their first homes at a younger age, when prices, relative to income, were a lot lower. They might have stayed in the same job or with the same company for decades, often benefiting from superannuation schemes that looked a bit different to what we have today. The cost of living was certainly different too, and many didn't have the same educational debts or childcare costs that are so common now. These aren't complaints, just observations about how the world has shifted. And when you think about it, these differences make a direct comparison pretty tricky.

Imagine trying to compare apples and oranges. You can do it, sure, but the results might not tell you much useful information. Our parents built their wealth in a particular economic climate, with particular opportunities and challenges. We're building ours in another. To expect the outcomes to be identical, or to set a goal of

beating

their outcome, without considering these fundamental differences, might be setting ourselves up for a bit of a let-down, or at least a lot of unnecessary worry. It's like trying to run a marathon in a different country, on a different course, with different weather, and then judging your time against someone who ran a local fun run twenty years ago.

One of the big things I've noticed is that this pressure often comes from within. It's not always something our parents are actively pushing on us. More often, it's an internalised benchmark. We see what they achieved, or what we *think* they achieved, and we feel a personal obligation to at least reach that, if not surpass it. And that's natural, to a degree. We want to do well for ourselves and our families. But sometimes, that desire can morph into a rigid expectation that might not actually serve our own best interests or our unique life circumstances.

Think about the purpose of a retirement nest egg. It's there to support you in your later years, to give you choices and comfort when you're no longer working full-time. The amount you need for that isn't some universal figure plucked out of the air. It's deeply personal. It depends on your desired lifestyle, your health, where you want to live, what hobbies you have, whether you want to travel, and so many other factors. Your ideal retirement might look completely different to your parents', and therefore, the amount of money needed to fund it will also be different.

For example, your parents might have wanted a big house to retire in, or they might have had certain expectations about leaving a large inheritance. You, on the other hand, might dream of a smaller, more manageable home, or you might prioritise experiences and travel over accumulating a massive sum of money for future generations. Neither approach is right or wrong, they're just different. And if your retirement goals are different, then the financial resources required to achieve them will also be different. Chasing a number just because

that's what Mum and Dad had

might mean you're working harder or longer than you actually need to for *your* definition of a good retirement.

There's also the emotional side of it. Constantly comparing yourself to others, especially your parents, can be pretty demotivating. If you feel like you're always falling short, or if you're constantly measuring yourself against a moving target, it can zap your enthusiasm for saving and planning. Instead of feeling good about the progress you are making, you might just feel like you're never quite enough. And that's not a healthy mindset to carry through what should be an empowering journey of financial planning.

It's worth remembering that your parents also had their own unique set of sacrifices and compromises. What looks like a comfortable retirement today might have been the result of decades of careful budgeting, delaying gratification, or making tough choices that you might not even be aware of. We often see the end result without fully appreciating the journey and all its complexities. So, while it's good to learn from their experiences, it's probably not fair to hold yourself to their exact financial milestones without also considering the context of how they got there.

So, what's a more constructive way to approach this? I reckon it starts with defining your *own* retirement. Not your parents', not your mates', but yours. What does a comfortable, enjoyable, and fulfilling retirement actually look like for you? Sit down and really think about it. Be honest with yourself. Do you want to volunteer, pursue a hobby, spend more time with grandkids, travel the world, or just enjoy your garden? The clearer you are on your vision, the clearer you'll be on the financial steps needed to get there.

Once you have that vision, you can start to work backwards. What kind of income will you need to support that lifestyle? How much do you think various activities will cost? What assets do you have, or do you plan to build, that will generate that income? This is where the numbers start to become relevant, but they're *your* numbers, based on *your* life. It removes the guesswork and the comparison game and replaces it with a purposeful plan tailored just for you.

This might involve some tough conversations with yourself, and maybe even with your partner. You might need to decide what your non-negotiables are and what you're willing to be flexible on. It's a bit like designing your dream home. You wouldn't just copy your parents' house plan, would you? You'd think about how *you* live, what *you* need, and what *you* value. Your retirement plan deserves the same bespoke approach.

Another thing to consider is the impact of longevity. People are generally living longer now than they did in our parents' generation. This means your retirement nest egg might need to stretch for more years than theirs did. While this might seem daunting, it's another reason why a direct comparison is unhelpful. Your financial planning needs to account for a potentially longer retirement period, which is a different challenge altogether.

The world has also changed significantly in terms of investment opportunities and risks. Our parents might have relied on different types of investments, or the market conditions they faced were different. Today, there's a broader range of options, and also different challenges like fluctuating interest rates and global economic shifts. Understanding these modern dynamics, rather than just trying to replicate past successes, is crucial for effective planning.

It's also worth thinking about what

enough

actually means. Is there a point where having more money doesn't actually improve your quality of life? For some, reaching a certain level of comfort and security is the goal, and anything beyond that is just extra. For others, a larger sum might provide a greater sense of peace. The key is to define

enough

for yourself, rather than chasing an arbitrary figure based on someone else's life. This self-defined

enough

can be incredibly liberating.

Sometimes, when you start to really dig into your own retirement goals, you might find that your vision is actually more modest than you initially thought. Or, you might realise it's more ambitious. Either way, having a clear target that's relevant to *you* makes the whole process feel much more achievable and less like a race against an invisible competitor. It brings the focus back to your own life and what truly matters to you.

And look, it's perfectly fine to admire what your parents achieved, or to draw inspiration from their work ethic or their financial prudence. There's a lot to learn from the previous generation. But there's a big difference between learning from them and feeling compelled to exactly replicate or surpass their financial outcomes, especially when the playing field has changed so much.

When things start to feel a bit overwhelming, or if you're trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be for your retirement, it can be really helpful to talk to someone who understands the bigger picture. This is where a good mortgage broker, for instance, can sometimes help you think through how your current property strategies might tie into your longer-term wealth creation. It's not about giving advice on your superannuation, but sometimes your home or investment properties play a big role in your overall financial plan, and seeing how all the pieces fit together can be really valuable. A broker can help you understand your options for your property portfolio and how that might impact your future choices.

Ultimately, the goal isn't to have a bigger retirement nest egg than your parents. The goal is to have *your* retirement nest egg be the right size for *your* dreams and aspirations. It's about living a life that feels authentic to you, both now and in the future. So, let go of the comparison, define your own finish line, and enjoy the journey of building the retirement that truly suits you. It's a lot more empowering, and honestly, a lot less stressful, when you're running your own race at your own pace.